What We Leave Behind

Almost everyone is obsessed with leaving a mark upon the world. Bequeathing a legacy. Outlasting death. We all want to be remembered. I do, too. - Augustus Water, The Fault in Our Stars

There are evenings I lie in my bed after a long, busy day and wonder, “What am I leaving behind?” Not my IKEA-decorated apartment or the leftovers in my fridge, but about my legacy. When I die, will people remember me? And if they do, what will they remember? There’s no way for me to really know and no way for anyone to know about themselves either.

The Pixar feature Coco, a film that always makes me cry, reminds me of this idea. Coco follows the story of Miguel, a young budding musician whose family hates music. Defying his parents and grandparents, Miguel steals a guitar to play in the plaza to emulate his idol Ernesto de la Cruz. Breaking the rules, he magically teleports to the vibrant and lively Land of the Dead where he must journey to get his family’s blessing to return home.

On the road, he meets Hector who explains that “if there’s no one left in the living world to remember you, you disappear from this world.” The idea that you disappear from the living world if no one remembers you is such a deep theme. While the animated film seems playful and simple, it uncovers a deeper human desire to be remembered.

Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars talks about this too. In his famous line, he shares his desire with his love interest Hazel: “Almost everyone is obsessed with leaving a mark upon the world.

Bequeathing a legacy. Outlasting death. We all want to be remembered. I do, too.”

Why are we so caught up with being remembered? Is it because we’re worried our lives don’t matter now if we aren’t remembered in the future? Is it like that saying, “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” If no one remembers my life, does it mean I never made an impact in this world?

But also, who cares? Who said your life needed to make enough of an impact to make a sound? Can’t my life be meaningful because I put meaning to it? Isn’t my life meaningful because I know I’m here? I need to think about this more, but all I can say is I do struggle with what my legacy will be like.

While I wonder what my legacy might be, I want to focus primarily on living now. I don’t want to live to build a legacy. I don’t need to be the Ernesto de la Cruz to a Miguel. All I need is to love others to the best of my ability. That’s what I’ll leave behind.

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Read more of ascend | a college reflection! ascend is a personal college reflection magazine with short essays, funny stories, life thoughts, important questions, media I love, and more! ascend | a college reflection came out on May 12, 2023, to celebrate graduation and kickstart gap year 3.0.